I work at the library at my University. My best friend does too, so naturally, we exchange stories of our daily…”adventures”, if you will, about our days. Today though, I’ll give you one of her stories, because it’s better than one I can recall of my own.
Libraries used to be a venerable place of scholars and learning. NOT ANYMORE. Students run rampant among the stacks, knocking books over, spitting at librarians, and in general wreaking havoc upon the save haven that is called a library. La biblioteca. Le bibliotheque. Ecetera.
This is all a lie, most students only ever kick over some shelves, so it’s not that big of a deal. What gets me is the weird thing people do actually do in such a public, but personal place. My friend, lets call her Tayler for now, works more in the stacks than I do (I’ll tell you what I do another time).Tayler is awkward. I am awkward. The equation matches up and bing bang boom we are friends. So she is walking along, books in her hands to be shelved. Oh look, a joyous couple in the same aisle as her exchanging saliva. Oh joy, Christmas has come early this year. So early it’s practically Easter. (Good thing I’m funny or this blog post would suck) As Tayler walks over to where her book needs to be shelved, an awful realization dawns on her: The couple is actually standing in front of the shelf she needs to stack. This is probably only funny to me, and I apologize profusely. But actually I don’t, because I don’t. ALSO IT’S FRIDAY. Joy of JOYS. I’m not sure how she was able to handle this situation, because I probably would have just stopped, turned around and left. Tip: Avoid awkward interactions with people by justleaving. It works every time. Also perhaps in my jealousy of their happiness I would have thrown my books at them and shown them my official Library Employee card and then ran away. That’s usually acceptable right? Do people even have Library Employee cards? But she just asks them politely, possibly in the tiniest of tiny whispers “Excuse me”, then as they probably stopped and looked at her like she was gum under the table, she quickly would have shelved the book and speed walked away. I see it so clearly. Later, obviously now respectable patrons of the institution called A Library, the couple came back to take out a book, and my friend Tayler was he one to check it out. her cheeks were probably pink with embarassment. Then I found 20 dollars and this story because instantly more exciting! Thanks y’all (so not Southern…er……)